Unique Original Articles » Warning Signs for Online Predators

All of the protection in the world would mean nothing without the use of common sense and knowing what to watch for. Children as young as 8 (even younger in some cases) are getting online and into chat rooms, social networking sites, and Internet forums, places a predator might prowling . Contrary to common belief, boys and girls are BOTH at risk! Given that schools now have computers, you should start teaching your kids about being safe online as early as possible!

Predators specifically focus on kids who are depressed, have other social problems, or have issues at home. These all present exploitable vulnerabilities. You can't cure everything overnight, but working to help your child to be happy and working problems out at home will certainly reduce your child's risk.

The first thing you should teach your kids about being safe, is that predators and pedophiles only sound like scary people. Take a look at some of the people at FamilyWatchDog.us. While you're at it, take note of the registered offenders near you and your child's school. You'll soon find that most look quite ordinary! Share this information with your child! Online predators and pedophiles also have the added burden of needing to be very friendly, and they are... right up until meeting face-to-face and your child is isolated and abused.

There are 4 to 5 phases to how a relationship between a predator and your child will progress:

Friendship - The stage where the predator is building a connection with your child. The goal here is to get out of the 'Stranger' zone and become an acquaintance. Aside from pulling the plug to their computer and turning your home into a prison, there isn't much you can do about this. The main thing for your child to watch for is age. If the person your child is talking to is in their teens or older, they should be cautious.

Risk Assessment - This is the point where the red flags should start emerging. Your child might be asked where the computer is in the house, so they don't have to worry about someone looking over your child's shoulder. Or they may ask how often your child is by themselves. They'll likely try to find out if your child has any issues with their parents, which is an extremely exploitable vulnerability because your child is already less likely to openly discuss what they're doing online. Your child may even engage in risky behavior just out of spite!

Exclusivity - Once the predator feels secure, they will try to isolate themselves from your child's regular online friends by giving compliments or offering gifts. They will also make themselves seem like the greatest thing since sliced bread. They are hoping to gain your child's trust and admiration.

Sexualization - A predator may sexualize their conversations at this point. The intention here is to arouse your child's interest in sex. They will try to make sexual topics seem ordinary for people your child's age. They may even send your child pictures sexual in nature in an attempt to spark arousal. Keep in mind though, if the pedophile is particularly dangerous, this phase may not even occur because of what they have planned for their first meet.

Meeting - The until this point, the whole process may take anywhere from a single conversation to several months of talking back and forth. Setting up a meeting will most likely consist of the predator making sure your child will be alone, and they will stress that you be kept out of the loop - using any made-up reason. Predators with long-term abuse as a goal might keep it entirely platonic the first time in order to seal your child's trust. From this point forward, however, things will rapidly move toward abuse.

Without risk assessment and sexualization, you're left with a progression of events that could very well be that of a normal romantic relationship between similarly aged people (speaking in terms if your child is a teen). If you take out exclusivity too, all you have left is a plain old friendship forming.

In times past, it has been preached and drilled and pounded into parents' heads that under no circumstances should you ever allow your child to meet someone they met online. With technology progressing as it is, that school of thought becoming less and less relevant. The main reason is the Internet exposes your child to millions of users. In contrast, your child might make a dozen decent friends (traditionally) in their lifetime. With this many options, finding friends has been made easier. Your child WILL want to meet people they've met online.

Permitting your child to develop relationships online and take them offline may seem scary as hell, but if you set the conditions and allow this, your child will be far less likely to keep you totally ignorant. Meet the person in question and determine their intentions yourself. If they throw up any red flags, drill deeper until you are either satisfied or they dig themselves a hole. Then let your child know why you think the person's intentions are not in their best interest.

This works because online pedophiles will VERY seldom agree to meet a parent. Tell your child that you'd be happy to let them meet someone after you've interro-- met them yourself. "I'm not good with parents," is a cop-out, and your child must be insistent demand that they do. Further avoidance is a very clear indicator that they don't want anyone to know who they are or what they intend to do.
Here is more information to help you with your kid's internet safety and Internet safety software.
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