Unique Original Articles » Dating and Dumping

Dating, usually, is a mainly pleasurable, happy experience . Meeting new friends, finding affection, with shared interests and compatibility is what it’s all about .

However, for some of us , after perhaps a good start, things go badly wrong, and the hard part comes when trying to break off a relationship that is not working. If the other person doesn’t want to break it off and you don’t wish to inflict too much hurt, here are a few tactics you may like to consider .

Before using them, be advised that, depending on the dumpee’s personality , you might encounter some fireworks along the way! In the examples below, for easy reading , I’ve used ’him’ but it is just as likely to be ’her’.

1. Listen to his jokes and laugh politely, but always in the wrong place, just before the punch line , if possible. If he is telling a joke to a crowd , jump in and supply the punch line (preferably incorrectly) before he can deliver it himself. Apologise profusely if he complains, but continue doing it again and again.

2. If he is a stickler for punctuality , always be late. Not just slightly, but spectacularly late, enough to spoil any date. Don’t apologise or make excuses , act as if this is perfectly normal behaviour.

3. If he invites you to a function given by his boss, try not to look your best . It’s difficult not to make yourself look as good as possible, but remember he is showing you off to his employer and colleagues and you don’t want to make him feel proud of you. Try your best (subtly) to look your worst. Try to make a really bad impression.

4. When you go to a film or concert wait until well after it has started . You then decide that you really, really need to go to the bathroom and disturb the audience making your exit (and then back in, of course). You will hate causing a nuisance to the other patrons , but you should bear in mind, it is all in a good cause - your freedom. After the show, for your reactions, of course it was much better the first time you saw it. Repeat this performance every time you go to a show. .

5. When he telephones, interrupt the call frequently, putting out the cat, turning on the oven, answering the doorbell, anything at all to make the call unsatisfactory. .

6. Try to think of any of your personal habits that seem to bug him badly - and if you haven’t any, start cultivating some . Sniffing , sniffing, scratching, yawning loudly , yawning loudly interrupting - I’m sure you can think up a few. Be careful, though, that they don’t backfire, and really become a habit!

7. If he has his hair cut in a new style or buys a very different outfit from his usual , don’t even notice it. If it’s brought to your attention , appear unimpressed.

8. If you go out to dinner, (that is, if you arrive in time!) be unsureof what you would like. Dither , change your mind and eventually when you’ve finished the meal , say that you would really have liked something completely different , but you didn’t like to make a a big thing of it.

9. Talk at length and as boringly as possible about girly things (or if a man, about male interests). You may bore yourself to tears, but imagine how it is affecting him!

10. Do you watch television together ? Try to hang on to the remote control and change channels often and at specially important moments. You should get quite a reaction!

11. When he reads a book get hold of it and read the ending. When he is halfway through tell him how it ends .

If he/she is still not to be shaken off after you have carried out some of the above dirty tricks , he/she is either a man/woman in a million or totally without insight. You will have to be tough and tell him/her he/she is dumped forthwith or maybe you should just leave town!







Evangeline Auld, co-founder with Hazel Sansom of the range of simple, reader-friendly Made Easy E-books, which, naturally enough, includes Dating made Easy. http://www.datingmadeeasy.mizzmouse.com
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