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The quarrels of marriage

Author: mmd

The quarrels of marriage

Written by My son Justin Dorrell

just a little bit of my experience for your readers...

Last night I spent several hours trying to help one of my friends work through an argument with his wife. I am still not entirely sure as to what started the argument in the first place. It never ceases to amaze me that couples continually get into arguments and can’t remember what the original problem was that started the argument in the first place. How they tend to dance around the problem just to bring more details and past occurrences to reinforce their argument. It always turns into the couple fighting to win and not fighting to be loved.

This in my opinion is what you have to do if you want your marriage to last, fight to be loved…Not that I’m saying you should fight all the time but if you’re going to, try to get past things together. If you don’t do that then you’ll end up either resenting the other person in the relationship or bringing it up in arguments to come, which is never a good thing. Another thing that I noticed them doing is cutting each other off before the other person had finished their statement. How could you possibly believe that you are helping the situation? Just shut up for two seconds and let the other person finish their statement. You couldn't possible have anything to say that is so important that you can’t wait for the other person to finish what they have to say.

This is probably one of the main things that you could do to get your partner so irritated they walk away and nothing is solved. I don’t commend walking away from an argument by any means but if you’re going to you should set a time. I know that may sound a little ridiculous but it works. Just tell them you need thirty minutes to yourself and give yourself time to think about what happened. The only thing there is you have to actually come back in thirty minutes and finish working through the problem.

I know that some of you reading this are probably thinking who the hell is this guy to tell me how to work through my problems? Well the answer to that question is quite simple. I have been there and I know what it feels like to go through those round after round arguments. It also helps that I easily have 100 hours of marriage counseling and communication classes under my belt. So essentially what I have been trying to say is, when you get into an argument with your loved one don’t fight to win. Fight to be loved and to solve the problem so that you don’t end up arguing about the same stuff over and over again and bringing it up in the future. I hope that if you found yourself reading this looking for a little help you found it.

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