Your Dating Diva knows that just 'cuz he's nice does not necessarily mean he won't hurt you. There is a lot of copy created regarding the bad ones - how to recognize bad boys and how to evade getting your heart crushed. The reality is that they can instruct us what not to do in a partnership and they can also be your ideal teachers. But the bad ones aren't solely dangerous men out there. You need to be careful of the really nice ones as well.
So what is so risky about a super kind man? Exactly like a super nice women, extremely kind men exercise extreme care to avoid hurting one's feelings. They would like to steer clear of conflict at any cost so they act nice. They may steer clear of expressing exactly what they think about a situation if they think you won't agree.
The harm of being mixed up with a super nice guy is that they send mixed messages concerning just how they feel. He will be open with you and yet one thing doesn't seem right. He'll talk about the future and express just what you wish to consider; he'll\he will let you know that he wants marriage and to have kids. Obviously, you believe that since you're in a relationship with him his future ambitions would include you. Do they really?
Something does not seem exactly right and you cannot identify it. You find that you are questioning your inner thoughts and second-guessing the realities of your relationship.
Here's what can make this predicament so difficult. A really kind guy really cares about you, he loves your company. Yet he is so kind he would do everything to prevent hurting your feelings so he may not admit that he is not crazy about you. Rather than make waves, he will invest his time with you till somebody superior comes along.
The actuality is that you aren't exactly who he has envisioned for his future, but he is reluctant to let you know. He does not want to shed your company or the luxury of having a woman he prefers to go places with. You are comfortable and "good enough" to take up the time till that special someone shows up.
How might you recognize the man who is super kind? Here are some signs to watch out for:
1. He talks about the long term without mentioning you explicitly.
2. He attends to your needs more than his, generally out of guilt for not being entirely engaged with you.
3. He overcomes arguments preferring always to keep everything level between you.
4. When you inquire specifically how he feels about you, he's unsure and indirect. He may say he significantly cares
Your Dating Diva
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